Sashiburi, watashi no blog!!

Was going through all my bookmark when I stumbled upon this page, is this my blog?? Oh, guess it really is... Re-read my post and realized how childish I was last year, not that I'm mature now though.. =P Then, I might feel the same if I look back again next year, that is, providing that my computer don't break down on me and losing all my bookmarks. Who knows what the future holds?

Anyway, though I should add this to make the me next year laugh when I read through again. Why don't I just write it down in a diary, you asked? To save the Earth from global warming. LOL! As if. Haha!!

Hmm, I manage to figure out where my problems are now, still finding the solution, or to be more exact, I know some of the solutions, but still lack the determination. Then, maybe it's fine not understanding myself, it makes the future more exciting. Like what will I do if I face different situations? How long does it takes for me to get out of a slump etc... It doesn't matter any longer.

Found something really amusing lately, when we're chit-chatting about K-pop on how some of them are younger than me. Geez, they're earning big bucks at that age, what on earth am I doing up till now??

And a very big thank you to all my friends. It's kinda some sentimental feelings I've got in my (hopefully) last year in Uni. Even though it's never enough to fill all the loneliness I have without my family here, I can't imagine what I'll be now if it wasn't for all of you. Thanks for all the happy times we spent together, thanks for being with me during my harsh time, thanks for coping with my weird personality, thanks for existing in my life, iro iro arigato!! I can't express how much all of it meant to me. =)

Sometimes

Sometimes, I hate myself so much it's so hard to bear... Why the heck is there someone like me exist on earth?

Reset button

You know I'll regret it, I should have just hold on my thought a little longer, why do I give in, I wonder. Would I be too selfish if I hold on? Maybe...

The world doesn't spin around me, I understand that fact, but why do I still feel so frustrated? Why can't my thought and emotion be moving on the same direction? I'll never understand myself, it's either too complicated or too easy, whichever it is, I still don't get it.

Life is just a game, the only difference is, there's no reset button in life. Sad, isn't it?

If I could just reset it like a game...

Birthday!

Had a surprise birthday bash by my housemate today morning! It's fun, though I'm still in my sleepy state when it started! We had so many things to eat we can't finished them.. XD Gonna continue later for lunch or dinner maybe? Haha!! :P Thank you so much for celebrating my birthday everyone! ^^ Still don't like the idea that I'm 20 right now, never once felt that I'm mature enough for my age.. haha!

Now I'm in a confusing state, happy for the celebration, but sad that I gotta cram for ToI final exam tomorrow.. gonna let out my frustration, AAAAHHHHHHH!!!! And Kevin, our lecturer, don't allow us to bring notes too even though we can bring it during mid sem test. Why?!! There's so many formulas to memorize I'm going crazy. I don't feel like studying at all, I wanna play, I wanna keep on watching anime forever and ever.. XD But for now, I guess I had no choice but to bury this desire of mine and then play till I drop dead tomorrow after exam.. Wahahaha!!!!!

Running away

I'm running away again. Feel like it would be so much better to just live in my dream. I don't wanna face reality, but reality is just too clingy it will never leave me alone. Argh~~

Anyway, today is extremely hot I feel like I'm in Mal instead of Aus.. XD It's cooking me while I walk in the heat.. Suddenly, you'll hear a shout, "Freshly baked human! Anyone wanna try some?" Haha!!! :P

It's just mood-killing, I don't feel like studying, I don't feel like doing anything except closing myself in the fridge, no, freezer would be better.. ^^ Can someone do me a favor and shoot the sun down please?

道歉

道歉，不过就只是自我逃避罪恶感的借口。

Lost

Care for others before you hope for others to care for you. Isn't this one of the unwritten law of the world? What rights do a person have to take and not give? But then, maybe I'm in no position to comment as well.

Thing just never go as easy as I thought it could be, problem arise from parts that I never realize, would be so serious. Unintentional? Or it's just something that had to face sooner or later? I'm just, lost. Lost to my inexperience in life, lost to my incapability.